Part 1--IDEAS AND CONTENT (What's the Point?)
5-Paper - Focused and Detailed

• My paper is clear and rich in details.
•  My ideas are fresh.
•   I show knowledge, experience, or insight.
•   My quality details go beyond the obvious or predictable.
•   My writing has purpose, makes a point, or tells a story.
•   Every piece adds something to the whole.

• It’s easy to see where I’m headed, but there are gaps.
•  My ideas are clear, but I need to get specific.
•  I don’t go far enough to make my point.
•  Some of my details are original, but some are predictable.

•  Yikes!  What’s my topic?
•   Information is limited or unclear.
•   I repeat myself!  Totally random!
•   It’s hard to figure out what’s important here.

• I picked just the right words for just the right places.
• All the words in my paper fit.  Each one seems just right.
•   My words are colorful, snappy vital, brisk, and fresh.  You won’t find overdone, vague, or flowery language.
•   Look at all my energetic verbs!
•   Some of the words and phrases are so vivid that the reader won’t be able to forget them.

•  The words in my paper get the message across but don’t capture anyone’s imagination or attention.
•  I used every day words pretty well but I didn’t stretch for a new or better way to say things.
•  Most of the time the reader will figure out what I mean even if a few words are goofed up.
•  Occasionally, I may have gone a bit overboard with words that tried to impress the reader.
•  My words aren’t real specific.  Instead of saying, "The sun went down." I should have said, "The sun sagged into the treetops."  Better, juicer details were needed.
•  There are as many tired out clichés ("Bright and early", "Quick as a wink") as there are new, fresh and original phrases:  "My mother made me feel more special than all her potted plants."

• My reader is often asking , "What did you mean by this?"
• A lot of my words and phrases are vague:  " We liked to do things," "We were friends and stuff."
•  My words don’t make pictures yet.  "Something neat happened," ;"It was awesome."
•  Some of my words are misapplication - Oops, I mean misused.
• Over and over I used the same words, over and over, and then over and over again until my paper was over.

• The sentences in my paper are clear and delightful to read aloud.
• Some sentences are long and stretchy, while some are short and snappy.
•   It’s easy to read my paper aloud, I love the sound.
•   Sentence beginnings vary; they show ideas connect.
•   You can tell that I have good sentence sense because my paper just flows.
•   All excess baggage has been cut.  I’ve economized with words.

•  Some of my sentences are smooth and natural but other are halting.
•  Sentence beginnings are more alike than different.
•  I need to add linking words (Therefore…Later… For this reason… When this happened…) to show how sentences connect.
•  Some sentences should merge, others need to be cut in two.
•  I have used more words than necessary –I still need to trim some deadwood.

•  Because there isn’t enough sentence sense yet, this paper is difficult to read aloud, even with practice.
•  As I read my paper, I have to go back, stop and read over, just to figure out the sentences.
•   I’m having a hard time telling where one sentences stops and another begins.
•  The sentence patterns in my paper are so repetitive they might put my reader to sleep!
•  I have to do quite a bit of oral editing (leaving some words out, putting some others in) just to help the listener get the meaning.

• My beginning gets the readers attention and gives clues about what is coming.
• Every detail adds a little more to the main idea or story.
• All my details are in the right place; everything fits like a puzzle.
• I ended at a good spot and didn't drag on too long. I left my reader with something to think about.

• I have a beginning, but it really doesn't grab you or give clues about what is coming.
• Sometimes it is not clear how the details I have used connect to the main idea or story.
• Some of my details are in the right spot, but some should come earlier or later.
• I've lingered too long in the same places, and sped through others.
• I have a conclusion, it just isn't the way I want it yet. I may have gone on too long or just tried to sum up in a ho hum way.

• There isn't really a beginning or ending to my paper. It just kinda takes off..
• I'm confused about how the details fit with the main idea or story.
• My ideas seem scrambled, jumbled, and disconnected. It's confusing.
• Conclusion? Oops. I forgot.

• I have put my personal stamp on this paper; it's really me!
• Readers can tell I am talking right to them.
• I write with confidence and sincerity.
• My paper is full of feelings and my reader will feel what I feel.
• I'm not afreaid to say what I really think.
• You can tell that I wrote this. No one else sounds like this!

• Although readers will understand what I mean, it won't make them feel like laughing, crying , or pounding on the table.
• My writing is right on the edge of being funny, excited , scary, or downright honest - but it's not there yet.
•  My personality pokes through here and there, but then gets covered again.
• My writing is pleasant, but a little cautious.
• I've done a lot of telling and not enough showing.

• If you didn't already know, it might be hard to tell who wrote this paper; you can't really hear my voice in there yet.
• I'm not comfortable taking a risk by telling you what I really think - I've taken the safest route by hiding my true feelings.
• My paper is all telling and no showing at all.
• I've held myself back  by using general statements like: "It was fun." "She was nice." "I like him a lot."

• There are very few errors in my paper, it wouldn’t take long to get this ready to publish.
• I have used capitals correctly.
•  Periods, commas, exclamation marks, and quotation marks are in the right places.
•  My spelling is accurate.
•  Every paragraph is indented to show where a new idea begins.
•  My grammar/usage is consistent and shows control.

• A number of bothersome mistakes in my paper need to be cleaned up before I am ready to publish.
• Spelling is correct on simple words.  It may not always be right on the harder words.
•  Most sentences and proper nouns begin with capitals but a few have overlooked.
•  Paragraphs are present but not all begin in the right spots.
•  A few problems with grammar and punctuation might make a reader stumble or pause now and again.
•  My paper reads like a first draft; I was more concerned with getting my ideas down than making sure all the editing was taken care of.

• It would take a first reading to decode and then a second reading to get the meaning of my paper.
• Speling errer our commun, evin on simpl werdz.
•  My paper have errors in punctuation? and grammar that send the reader back two the beginning from a sentence to sort thing out
•  I’ve got caPital lEttErs scattered All Over the plaCe or NOT aT all.
•  I haven’t got the hang of paragraphs yet.

The truth is, I haven’t spent much time editing this paper.